It's Been a Long Time . . . 

 

since I wrote.

 

As I just read the previous blogs, I noted that all I could write about was my times and musings of my mother and father for the past year. Well, why not? They have been filling my mind. They have been my Universe. My life has been revolving around and with their orbits.

 

I don't regret it.

 

As one gets older, one should cherish all the thoughts and moments one can get because life gets shorter and shorter, seemingly getter smaller and smaller. I have already lived 2/3rds of my life according to my own parents' life spans. I only have 1/3 left. That's 30 years but 30 years doesn't seem like a lot anymore. Better pack life into what's left. Before you know it, you can't half see or hear and you might be taking baby steps once again just to get to the car that you aren't supposed to be driving anymore.

 

Thirty years is a blink in time. Maybe not even that much.

 

Maybe it's time to expand one's Universe. Continue to expand one's mind. Extend one's geographic pull of effective and affectiveness on loved ones, people in general and the cosmos.

 

One seismic ripple in the waters of life can be far-reaching. Make sure it's a good ripple. Be a positive force in your galaxy.

 

Remember, we don't just live on a certain street but rather within a huge thing floating in space. Are we really grounded or just a speck orbiting on and with a breathing, blue planet around a hot star that shines on us during the day and lets the moon take over at night? We are floating, suspended, yet moving in the Heavens according to plan. 

 

When you look up at the stars at night, know that within is a fascinating Universe too that is constantly playing out individual functions that create a whole being. Someone that was just a twinkle in someone else's eyes.

 

Do you like what you see?

(photo courtesy of NASA)

(c)nancy  12.3.2013

 

 



Oh, Deer !

 

This really happened. Let me say that right off the bat.

 

(Plus, the picture above is of a deer I took in my backyard. Yes, I take all the pictures that I post in this blog-o-mine. When not, I say so.)

 

All that said, here is the story . . .

 

A few days ago it was a beautiful day. I decided to take a break and go outside to enjoy a walk around my yard. Stretch my legs. Smell the fresh air. Absorb some vitamin D. It had drizzled earlier and had wet the dry leaves that had begun to fall, making them silent when I walked on them in my worn, black flip flops. I flopped quietly around the side of my house heading toward the garden there to check on the weeds growing.

 

And what to my wondering eyes should appear but three reindeer! No, not exactly. But there was a doe and two teenage fawns. I immediately stood still and they looked up from eating my weeds in the lawn. We all played possum standing up straight and no one moved an eyelash. Chewing ceased.

 

After a moment a tail flicked and an ear twitched and they all turned to face me. I stood still. The mother took a step toward me and I stood still. She walked slowly closer and I backed up very slowly. She stopped. I stopped. We stared at each other.

 

She bent her head to the ground and brought it back up, and I saw one of her deerlings do the same motion afterward. Were they communicating? The mother was still turned toward me and I was still still.

 

She bowed her head and I bowed at the waist while keeping my eyes locked with hers. She bowed her head and I bowed back. One more time, she bowed her head toward me and I returned the movement. Then we stared at each other, she flicked her tail and moved on followed by her offspring.

 

I waited until they were out of sight in the brush and then said out loud, "Thank you, God".

 

What a great memory. A deer "spoke" to me and I "spoke" back. It was a namaste moment, greeting one another and acknowledging each other's presence.

 

I'd say it was a good day.



(c)nancy  10.8.2013

 

 

 



Full Moon for Mom/August 20, 2013

Tonight will be a Full Moon. I think it only appropriate since my mother, today a year ago, died peacefully in the early morning hours. A full year will pass under the light of a Full Moon.

My mother was very spiritual. She loved Celtic stuff and I think she would have loved that the Moon would be in full mode for her tonight. I hope the sky will be clear so I can walk outside and see it and think of her.

I wish I could be standing beside her at Oakwood Cemetery at midnight tonight because "the full moon reaches its highest elevation" at that time.

Mom also loved Stonehenge. She said that when she went there and was able to stand within the stones (before the time that the fence was built around it) that she had a spiritual experience. I wish I had been with her to feel it too. We could have held hands and then looked at each other and said, "Did you feel that?" and maybe a shiver would run down our spines.

Maybe at that moment she would have squeezed my hand three times ( I Love You) and I would have smiled and squeezed her hand back two times (How Much?) and then she would squeeze long and hard and I would know how much she loved me.

I am squeezing your hand all day today mom.

Squeeze, squeeze squeeze
Squeeze squeeze
Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeze.
Forever.

 

 

(c)nancy  8.20.2013

July 27, 2013

Mom's Birthday

 

My mother was smart, thoughtful, curious, historically minded, spiritual, beautiful inside and out and genuinely kind. Her friends and her husband described her as "a lady". That she was through and through and to her core.

 

My family celebrated her today by going out to Johnson Lake which was a place she liked to go to in order to look at the water. We would go any time of the year. If we brought a lunch, then we would take it to one of the picnic benches at the water's edge. So that's what we did today. On the way, we stopped at Burger King on Hillsborough Street because that's the Burger King that Mom liked. While the food was being prepared for take-out, Dad and my sister sat in "their booth". Tears.

It could not have been a prettier day in July. The weather had cooled and we sat in the shade with a lovely breeze blowing as we talked of mom and other things going on in our lives. She would have loved being there personally and enjoyed dropping a french fry to the ducks that would come to the table. I can picture her doing it, the way she'd drop it from above the duck's head and let it fall to the dirt where the duck would then compete with others to gobble it up. Sometimes she'd throw the fry in an arc to the water and watch the instant fight for food.

At one point I stood up from the table and walked to an area where I could look out over the water and think of mom quietly. Of how she loved this small view and I could picture her here the many times I was with her. It can only take a millisecond for hours of memory to cross your mind. It was a good feeling but also sad, because I miss her every day. It makes me glad I have good memories to cherish that have been saved in my heart, soul and memory cells. They are worth more than money. I hope I got my mother's DNA and keep my mind, never losing it to Alzheimer's or senility. I want to be able to come here with my children and grandchildren and tell them of their grandmother or great grandmother. To describe her to them so they feel her too. Thinking of you, Mom.

 

Daddy held up well but there were moments. It is very hard. Sad. He misses her so much.

We packed up our trash after we had eaten and drove to Oakwood Cemetery next. I had gone to Harris Teeter earlier in the day and got flowers for mom. When we pulled up to the curb my sister commented on the big bird that had just flown over mom's spot and into a nearby tree. We thought it very significant as she loved seeing big birds. I said out the window, "Hey, Mom!". I got out of the car and went straight to the vase where I have been putting flowers for the past year, doing my best to go once a week, so Mom has fresh flowers. It's a little harder for the flowers to last a week during the summer heat. When the old flowers were discarded and the fresh ones were in their place we all stood in a curve at the base of her plaque and held hands. My sister said some words. Tears.

Quiet thoughts. I broke the sadness by telling Mom of our day we had so far with her in mind and trying to be cheerful and up beat. I told her about the bird that we saw and said, "Was that you, Mom?"

Suddenly a strong breeze blew through the tree over mom's place and us surrounding it, rustling the many leaves. I looked over at my other sister and we said to one another with our eyes, "Whoa."

As I said, mom was very spiritual. It would have been just like her to be a bird or a breeze letting us know she knows we know.



 

On our way back to Dad's condo we drove by houses Mom liked and one in particular that my sister remembered that Mom "coveted". Mom's word for the house every time we would drive by it. It's for sale now and Dad had said many times this past year when he and I would drive by thinking of mom, "I would buy that for her if she were here".

I know you would, Dad.

We all agreed since it was "For Sale" and looked "Not Lived In" that we would be brave and drive down the long, ivy bordered driveway and "take a look". Mom would have LOVED this adventure. I would have helped her out of the car and held her hand as we would walk around the property,  trading off at some point so someone else could hold her hand too. Can you ever not want to hold your mother's hand no matter how old you are?

Here's one image of the house. It is surrounded by ivy and trees.

 

I took a lot of pictures but this captures how private and quaint it is, almost like an English country house. We all agreed that coming to investigate this unique home that momma coveted was like one of our "day trips" we had with her when we were in The Cotswolds together.  

 

All in all it was a wonderful afternoon in remembrance of mom on her birthday. She would have been 95.

 

Happy Birthday, momma. We miss you.

I miss you.

 

             

 









 



(c) nancy  7.30.2013



Another Day with Dad

July 25, 2013

 

It doesn't hardly get any better than this!!

Today when I woke up, the storm that had passed in the night left the air cooler and the humidity lower. A good day to pick up Dad along with my sister and eat outside at Logan's.

Here's what we ate . . .  Dad and I shared a hamburger with onions and mustard on it, the way he likes it, and they cut it in half for us. We also shared some waffle fries with a bit of ketchup for dipping. My sister got a burger with the works on it and some potato salad on the side. Since it was a rare day with some coolness in the breeze, we decided to sit outside at a table to enjoy the weather while we could. After all, it is the end of July! Cool days are worth savoring.

So the picture above was taken as we headed to the annual section of Logans, after we ate, in order for Dad to find some more flowers, preferably white, to plant in front of the summer ones he already had blooming in his newly sun-filled plot. He had a few tree limbs cut from a neighbor's tree about a month ago, so he could get more of the sun he wanted on his plants. It's doing really well! But he did not see anything that suited his idea of what he wanted to plant, so we went on to our next joint 'thing'.

On to a framer for my sister.

This framer has been in his spot for about 30 years across from Broughton High School. It smelled like a dentist's office and my sister and I both thought that as we walked into the lower section of the building. At any rate, she got her calligraphic artwork figured out in her own way and then we were off again.

We went on to drop her off at her house, and then Dad and I went back to his condo so he could get his book he is currently reading as well as his tape recorder. He talks into this recorder telling stories all about selling insurance, the Wolfpack Club, his friends and associates and some family events. All with a great ending. He really is a fabulous storyteller, and I think he could have done that on the stage. In fact, he could have been an actor. He is something else.

As I type this he is sitting on my couch talking into his recorder as he holds the piece of paper he has written lines on in order to prompt his recollections.

What a Dad!!!

Thanks for the memories, Dad, that I get to share with you daily now and for the ones you are recording for posterity. You're the best!

(Postscript: I ended up gathering, collating, editing, and organizing into chapters all of dad's notes that were piled here and there in his condo. Then I added pictures within the text and ended up self-publishing his memoirs via Lulupress. It was a learning curve for me on how to do it all online but it was finally accomplished by Thanksgiving 2017)

(c)nancy  7.25.2013



A Pictorial Lunch with Dad ... Friday ... June 6, 2013

This morning I got a call from my sister asking if I wanted to share a day with Dad. Yes! We would make it fun for him. We had a few ideas.

Little did we know that Dad had an idea of his own.

When we arrived at his condo, he had a magazine in his hands open to a page about a restaurant he thought we may try out for lunch today. It's here in downtown Raleigh and the article boasts that it serves the best fried chicken. Dad is not a chicken lover at heart because, when he was young, he grew up raising chickens. But fried chicken? He was ready to see if it was as good as KFC. We were keen on rating the chicken with him. Let's go!



Located at 237 S. Wilmington Street (again, that's downtown folks) is Beasley's Chicken & Honey. You can see by the picture I took above that people were coming in by groups. The only problem? Parking. Bring your credit or debit cards to use in the automated parking meters. $1.00 will get you an hour's worth of parallel parking which is all you need to come in, sit down, order, and enjoy the fare.

Fortunately, I am pretty good at parallel parking but I drove around the block once in order to see if someone would pull out of their spot closer to the restaurant so Dad would not have to walk too far. Voila! As I turned the corner, two cars left the curb almost simultaneously, one in front of the other, and I was able to cruise into my space with room to spare as if the parking angels swept them away just for us. We were not disappointed as we got out and walked in the First Day Of Summer breezes to Beasley's.

Can you see Dad's white head of hair? There he is sitting in the corner. He likes to be in the middle of what's happening, so this table afforded us all a good view of people to watch. At any rate, we ordered from the huge blackboards on the walls, and Dad, of course, got their fried chicken with a side order of their creamy version of macaroni and cheese.



 

He said he really didn't prefer the mac 'n cheese over the regular old-fashioned kind that he is accustomed to but it was creamy and moist. As you can see, beverages are served in jars. They don't have real Coca Colas here but rather RC Colas and Nehi Grape-like drinks and such. Fresh lemonade. So if you are a die-hard Coca Cola lover like myself, just order their sweet tea and have a coke when you get home. My sister was coming off of a cleanse, so she ordered a salad and some veggies. She said it was all good. I ordered their fried chicken sandwich of the day that was really a veggie sandwich that I ordered with chicken thrown in.  It was massive!

 

 

 I did my best to get through it but none of us could eat all of our lunch portions. We all got the remainders to go which came in a brown bag (for me and my sister) with their stamp on it. Cute! I ordered their coconut cake to go as well and I have to tell you it is weighty, sweet, moist, and good for a few sessions with a fork. Our waitperson said it takes them about two days to make. I believe it.

 

 

Dad's leftover chicken came in a tiny box which made us think they had secretly put in some Sesame Chicken with Fried Rice or maybe a fortune cookie.

 



 

When you go to Beasley's ask for Katie. She's fabulous! Her smile and warm persona really made our day.

 

 

We admit that the bill was too high . . . about $44.00 for four people ... for lunch. Wow! So that credit card or debit card you brought to pay for your meter will come in handy. Phew!

 

Onward to our next fun thing of the day which was going to my house to play Parcheesi with Dad. Dad picked yellow (his favorite flower color), I picked red (my favorite color of anything) and my sister was left with a mix of green and blue (my cats know where the rest are . . . probably batted under a couch or bed).

 



 

Growing up we played a lot of board games and my Dad taught us as young children to win! But I will have to admit that I was feeling pretty bad for Dad when he was constantly being sent 'home' by my sister at the beginning of the game. But as luck would have it, she was then being sent home and he finally had a chance to get his men out and about the board. At the very end, we were neck and neck like the horses in the Preakness. We were sitting at my pub table hollering for our dice to "come on, come on!" We all needed a one on our dice to win.

 

 

Well, this go-round my sister won, so we will have to set up the board game another time and see who's on first. Hope it's you, Dad!

 

Thanks for the memory.

 

I love you.

 

 

(c)nancy 6.22.2013



 

 

 



 

A Day With Dad

 

 

June 14, 2013 - Friday

 

Today I picked Dad up at his condo around eleven in the morning. He was all dressed in a perky yellow shirt and light-colored khakis ready and waiting for the day. Me too! Not that I was wearing a yellow shirt or khaki pants, but I was excited to spend the day with Dad.

 

First off we drove to Five Points and picked up one of his prescriptions. Of course, when we were waiting at the small pharmacy counter, Dad saw someone he knew and I saw someone I knew. So we both chatted with our respective friends and then said hello to one anothers' and took our package and walked arm in arm across the street to the Post Office.

 

"Where have you been?" the lady behind the counter asked Dad. He then proceeded to fill her in about the fact that he'd had a stroke and can't drive now. She said cheerfully that she was glad to see that he was upright and walking! Dad paid for two sheets of flower stamps and we were off to our next adventure.

 

All the way to the other end of Glenwood Avenue we drove with the windows down enjoying the cooler air that whooshed in last night on a storm taking Dad's electricity out for the night. He said he did not have power until around nine this morning. We were glad it had cooled down in the 60's for that fiasco. My lights flickered but graciously stayed on.

 

At any rate, we reached the parking lot of the Food Lion where we walked in, grabbed a cart, and went in search of sodas to buy for tomorrow's cookout. Father's Day and other celebrations included in the hot dog event at my sister's house. While there we grabbed some Doritos just in case anyone would like some (mainly me). Then a bar of Ivory soap for Dad.

 

Back in the car and on around the corner to the Goodwill. There we perused the shelves that held books for sale. $1.75 for hardbacks no matter how thick. Dad found a few and so did I. He was looking for some of his favorite authors, especially Stuart Woods, but no luck. We paid in cash (no checks or credit cards taken) for them at the counter. Dad gave the lady his money and said, "Keep the change". She smiled and said she would give it to some people in need. Again, we went back in the car arm in arm.

 

Still driving with the windows down, we made it to my street and turned in, and caught a glimpse of a deer crossing the road. I slowed down and there in the neighbor's yard was a doe and its little spotted fawn. Bambi, anyone? How adorable. But it had a limp and I wanted to grab it and take it to the Veterinary School. But it turned its head and looked at us, seemed happy, so we drove slowly on to my house where we went inside and settled down on the couch (for Dad) and in the kitchen (for me). I made us some open-faced ham and cheese sandwiches on rosemary sourdough bread for our 'picnic lunch' which I crisped in the little toaster oven. Yum. I cut them up like little canapes in hopes it would help Dad chew small bites. We ate them while sitting on the couches and had fun talking.

 

Afterward, I grabbed the new potatoes in the fridge I had boiled the previous night and sat back down on the couch to cut them up in a bowl while Dad read more stories to me. What a delight to hear him laugh and enjoy the tales. He is quite the storyteller. He read from a book that was written in 1945 by someone who had been a boarder in his grandparent's huge house on Market Street in Washington, N.C. (Carl Goerch; founder of Our State Magazine). What fun. I am looking forward to reading it as well.

 

When the potato salad preparation was done for the moment, we decided to open the screen door to the porch. I set him up in the shade with a glass of water over ice. He read with the breezes blowing while I began to make us a treat. A shortcake recipe that is really good. My idea? To take them hot out of the oven, and we could eat them with melted butter and some maple syrup or honey drizzled in the middle. All the cutting in of the cold, sweet butter and the kneading and the rolling and the cutting out in biscuit rounds was to no avail. I have no idea if it was the fine weather, the gas oven (which I do not like how it bakes), or just what, but they would not cook in the middle. Just a gooey mass with crisp outer shells. Poo!

 

Well, my freezer ice cream didn't work out either this week. A grand recipe from The Two Fat Ladies Cookbook that looked really easy to prepare and sounded delicious but which ended up looking like frozen mashed potatoes. I don't think the cooking gods were with me this week so I have laid that notion aside until next week. Better luck? We'll see.

 

So I got my book and joined Dad on the porch to read. But not before I gave him a manicure that he asked for. His nails were willy nilly and he has nice nails when they are filed. I like doing it for him but I leave his toenails for my sister!

 

Before we knew it, the time on my iPhone read almost 4:00, the time I told my brother-in-law that I would bring Dad back to the condo. (He and my sister were living with Dad at his condo, for a time, after he fell and broke his hip.) I asked Dad if he'd like to stay longer but he said he should probably get back. I know he likes to read his mail and catch up with the newspaper. I don't suppose he had time this morning to get it all done.

 

Thanks for the memory, Dad. I love you. Happy Father's Day.

(c)nancy 6.15.2013