July 27, 2013

Mom's Birthday

 

My mother was smart, thoughtful, curious, historically minded, spiritual, beautiful inside and out and genuinely kind. Her friends and her husband described her as "a lady". That she was through and through and to her core.

 

My family celebrated her today by going out to Johnson Lake which was a place she liked to go to in order to look at the water. We would go any time of the year. If we brought a lunch, then we would take it to one of the picnic benches at the water's edge. So that's what we did today. On the way, we stopped at Burger King on Hillsborough Street because that's the Burger King that Mom liked. While the food was being prepared for take-out, Dad and my sister sat in "their booth". Tears.

It could not have been a prettier day in July. The weather had cooled and we sat in the shade with a lovely breeze blowing as we talked of mom and other things going on in our lives. She would have loved being there personally and enjoyed dropping a french fry to the ducks that would come to the table. I can picture her doing it, the way she'd drop it from above the duck's head and let it fall to the dirt where the duck would then compete with others to gobble it up. Sometimes she'd throw the fry in an arc to the water and watch the instant fight for food.

At one point I stood up from the table and walked to an area where I could look out over the water and think of mom quietly. Of how she loved this small view and I could picture her here the many times I was with her. It can only take a millisecond for hours of memory to cross your mind. It was a good feeling but also sad, because I miss her every day. It makes me glad I have good memories to cherish that have been saved in my heart, soul and memory cells. They are worth more than money. I hope I got my mother's DNA and keep my mind, never losing it to Alzheimer's or senility. I want to be able to come here with my children and grandchildren and tell them of their grandmother or great grandmother. To describe her to them so they feel her too. Thinking of you, Mom.

 

Daddy held up well but there were moments. It is very hard. Sad. He misses her so much.

We packed up our trash after we had eaten and drove to Oakwood Cemetery next. I had gone to Harris Teeter earlier in the day and got flowers for mom. When we pulled up to the curb my sister commented on the big bird that had just flown over mom's spot and into a nearby tree. We thought it very significant as she loved seeing big birds. I said out the window, "Hey, Mom!". I got out of the car and went straight to the vase where I have been putting flowers for the past year, doing my best to go once a week, so Mom has fresh flowers. It's a little harder for the flowers to last a week during the summer heat. When the old flowers were discarded and the fresh ones were in their place we all stood in a curve at the base of her plaque and held hands. My sister said some words. Tears.

Quiet thoughts. I broke the sadness by telling Mom of our day we had so far with her in mind and trying to be cheerful and up beat. I told her about the bird that we saw and said, "Was that you, Mom?"

Suddenly a strong breeze blew through the tree over mom's place and us surrounding it, rustling the many leaves. I looked over at my other sister and we said to one another with our eyes, "Whoa."

As I said, mom was very spiritual. It would have been just like her to be a bird or a breeze letting us know she knows we know.



 

On our way back to Dad's condo we drove by houses Mom liked and one in particular that my sister remembered that Mom "coveted". Mom's word for the house every time we would drive by it. It's for sale now and Dad had said many times this past year when he and I would drive by thinking of mom, "I would buy that for her if she were here".

I know you would, Dad.

We all agreed since it was "For Sale" and looked "Not Lived In" that we would be brave and drive down the long, ivy bordered driveway and "take a look". Mom would have LOVED this adventure. I would have helped her out of the car and held her hand as we would walk around the property,  trading off at some point so someone else could hold her hand too. Can you ever not want to hold your mother's hand no matter how old you are?

Here's one image of the house. It is surrounded by ivy and trees.

 

I took a lot of pictures but this captures how private and quaint it is, almost like an English country house. We all agreed that coming to investigate this unique home that momma coveted was like one of our "day trips" we had with her when we were in The Cotswolds together.  

 

All in all it was a wonderful afternoon in remembrance of mom on her birthday. She would have been 95.

 

Happy Birthday, momma. We miss you.

I miss you.

 

             

 









 



(c) nancy  7.30.2013



Another Day with Dad

July 25, 2013

 

It doesn't hardly get any better than this!!

Today when I woke up, the storm that had passed in the night left the air cooler and the humidity lower. A good day to pick up Dad along with my sister and eat outside at Logan's.

Here's what we ate . . .  Dad and I shared a hamburger with onions and mustard on it, the way he likes it, and they cut it in half for us. We also shared some waffle fries with a bit of ketchup for dipping. My sister got a burger with the works on it and some potato salad on the side. Since it was a rare day with some coolness in the breeze, we decided to sit outside at a table to enjoy the weather while we could. After all, it is the end of July! Cool days are worth savoring.

So the picture above was taken as we headed to the annual section of Logans, after we ate, in order for Dad to find some more flowers, preferably white, to plant in front of the summer ones he already had blooming in his newly sun-filled plot. He had a few tree limbs cut from a neighbor's tree about a month ago, so he could get more of the sun he wanted on his plants. It's doing really well! But he did not see anything that suited his idea of what he wanted to plant, so we went on to our next joint 'thing'.

On to a framer for my sister.

This framer has been in his spot for about 30 years across from Broughton High School. It smelled like a dentist's office and my sister and I both thought that as we walked into the lower section of the building. At any rate, she got her calligraphic artwork figured out in her own way and then we were off again.

We went on to drop her off at her house, and then Dad and I went back to his condo so he could get his book he is currently reading as well as his tape recorder. He talks into this recorder telling stories all about selling insurance, the Wolfpack Club, his friends and associates and some family events. All with a great ending. He really is a fabulous storyteller, and I think he could have done that on the stage. In fact, he could have been an actor. He is something else.

As I type this he is sitting on my couch talking into his recorder as he holds the piece of paper he has written lines on in order to prompt his recollections.

What a Dad!!!

Thanks for the memories, Dad, that I get to share with you daily now and for the ones you are recording for posterity. You're the best!

(Postscript: I ended up gathering, collating, editing, and organizing into chapters all of dad's notes that were piled here and there in his condo. Then I added pictures within the text and ended up self-publishing his memoirs via Lulupress. It was a learning curve for me on how to do it all online but it was finally accomplished by Thanksgiving 2017)

(c)nancy  7.25.2013